Quarrelsome Humans and My Most Favorite Part of Ireland...
Day 4: Blarney to Killarney
The question is inevitable, but the answer is entirely unexpected. I've been asked many times, "What was your favorite part of Ireland?" My answer...drum roll, please..."The Cork City Jail." And then the stunned faces, and the puzzled, "What did you say?"
Don't worry, Daran is as incredulous as all of you and maybe a little bit offended on behalf of the Cliffs of Moher. When he first heard my out-of-left-field answer, he responded vehemently, "But what about the Cliffs of Moher?!"
I'm not sure if I will win you over to my side, but I will at least explain why.
Again, I am a sucker for a story and the Cork City Gaol was overflowing with them. If you sit down with me with all the pictures, I can keep you enraptured for about an hour or so with all of them, or at least I assume you will be just as enraptured as me.
Daran and I showed up at the Gaol early because I didn't want to miss the once a day 2pm tour for two extra euro. We paid our 22 euro and the fun began.
I won't bore you with every detail, but I'll tell you the really cool stuff. It was built 198 years ago in 1824 and was said to be "the finest in three kingdoms," not sure which three kingdoms are referred to in that illustrious statement.
It housed men, women, and children. During the potato famine, Mary Collins, 17 years old picked up a shilling she saw laying on the ground on the way home from work. She put it in her pocket and was subsequently arrested and given three months hard labour.
Upon her arrival, she was deloused with a bunch of powder, given a black suit to wear, and weighed. She weighed 70 pounds or 5 stone. She was very lucky because the prison was severely overcrowded during the famine years. While others were housed 4-5 to a cell, she was housed with only one famous prisoner, Countess Markievicz, who was imprisoned for making a seditious speech. The Countess also fought in the Easter Rising for the independence of Ireland and was the first woman to be elected to the British parliament, hence her spacious empty room.
On Mary's first morning, after her breakfast of gruel, she was forced out into the yard to witness her first hanging. She then was taken out for her daily exercise, in which she found two sandwiches on the ground that she of course ate. She was not able to keep up whilst walking around the exercise circle for 2 hours, so she was beaten several times.
She lived, along with her co-captives, in complete silence. Everyone, including the guards, wore felt on their shoes to make sure that their footsteps did not interrupt the introspection of the prisoners. More introspection=more remorse. So no talking, no crying, no laughing, no footsteps, no life.
When her departure was imminent, she was weighed again. She weighed 77 pounds or 5 1/2 stone. Because she had gained 7 pounds, they declared she had certainly been overfed or had stolen food, so of course they starved her for her last three days.
I already told you that I love a story and that is why the gaol was such a hidden treasure for me, but also I am enamored with hearing the stories of the obscure, unnoticed Irish person. Later, I will tell you about visiting the hometown of my great great grandpa. I often think that my relatives lived in obscurity and suffering, so I guess I want to hear those stories. The stories of those that are just like me. Ordinary, and very liable to pick up a shilling and put it in my pocket when my stomach is empty.
Other side notes for those who care:
I caved on day 4. No more hotel coffee for me. I became a local and starting drinking tea with my breakfast and often chamomile tea with my dinner. Maybe it was the little pot they bring it in that convinced me, or the fact that coffee is really not their forte.
As disappointing as it is to all of you that my favorite activity in Ireland was traipsing about a jail full of creepy wax figures, I also discovered at breakfast that I don't like Hollandaise sauce. I am sorry. I also can't do over-easy eggs - so maybe egg yolks turned into a sauce was never going to work out for me.
In Ireland there are trees of the year, and along with my obsession with stories, I also adore trees. We met Ireland's 2019 tree of the year by Blarney Castle. It lived up to its name.
I did it. I kissed the Blarney stone which really wasn't all that except for the treacherous climb up in which many claustrophobia sufferers u-turned and walked back down the narrow slippery spiral staircase. So when you reach the top, you feel accomplished or terrified or both. Apparently the Blarney stone was moved to the top of the castle, and we often heard words that I will not put in writing here when tourists read the little plaque admitting to this ludicrous decision.
Their was a poison garden next to Blarney castle in which I discovered my favorite poison. Catmint. If humans consume it, they become quarrelsome. I'm sure I could find a youtube video demonstrating it. That's probably what I will do after I'm finished here.
We had our first seafood meal that evening in Killarney complete with deep fried squid, crab claws, and prawns. Of course we saved room for dessert - sort of - we were actually quite full. We asked the waiter, "What do you recommend?" His answer..."If you aren't having sticky toffee pudding, you aren't getting dessert." We didn't argue.
Oh, one last thing, since I didn't talk enough about the gaol. There is a debtor's prison beside it, in which, life was fairly nice. If you were a rich debtor (I don't quite get that.) you had nicer accommodations with your own clothes and furniture. The greatest thing is, you could leave! Maybe you got a job for the day that would help pay off your debt. You just had to have someone stay in your stead. It only became a problem, when prisoners didn't come back and the gullible person left behind had to live out the prisoner's sentence while they partied it up outside the walls.
This is now where I conclude this book I have just written and head on over to YouTube for quarrelsome human videos.