Why you need to understand what the Bible says about "moo-shee-boo-shees."

“Moo-shee-boo-shee,” he yelled.  I had never heard of a moo-shee-boo-shee.  I wasn’t quite sure how to spell it, but I knew what it was.  He apparently didn’t.  As I sat there, the overwhelming word definition to describe the state of my mind was confused. I was in high school and decided to attend a tent revival with my sister, Angel.  I was so curious about God, because I had just said yes to a relationship with Him.  Almost immediately my life was turning upside down.  I had been going to church since I was a child, but now I was voraciously reading my Bible and seeking out every opportunity to learn more.  Hence my reasoning for accompanying my sister to the tent revival in the poorer section of Hopewell, Virginia.  

The first night I went, I remember the man from the front handing out envelopes with different amounts written on them.  He explained that if we wanted someone that we cared for to know Jesus, we needed to fill the envelope with the designated amount of money to ensure that we had the faith to see them saved.  Although this was unusual, I actually pondered it.  Does this really show that I have faith when I open up my wallet and sacrifice money?  I thoughtfully considered it.  So many in the room seemed fully engaged in this and were eagerly filling their envelopes.  I had loved ones that I wanted to know Jesus.  I don’t remember putting money in the envelope, but I could have. 

I must have been a glutton for punishment, because I went the second night stricken with  fear that I would feel compelled to empty my bank account in the name of faith.  That night proved to be even more perplexing than night one.  I remember the man saying from the front, “The Lord has shown me that he is goin' to bless someone with a new car.”  The response to this was an audience full of people jumping up and down and yelling, “Me! I need a car! Lord! Me!”  “I can see the car now,” the man said in long overemphasized syllables.  “I don’t know what kind it is, but I see it. Hmmm….  It says Moo-shee-boo-shee!  What’s a moo-shee-boo-shee?  Anybody in here know what a moo-see-boo-shee is?”  The crowd, who seemed to be far more intelligent than the man, feverishly yelled out, “Mitsubishi! It’s a Mitsubishi!”  “Oh, Yes!  You’re right!  It’s a Mitsubishi!” he confirmed.  By the end of the service, he had promised a lady in the audience that she would receive the Mitsubishi.  All she had to do was have faith enough to give…

I don’t know why I missed the last night of the revival.  Either I was scared to death, or I had to work.  Hopefully, I was wise enough to just stay away.  My sister told me the story of that night.  The man said that he was having a vision.  He indicated a woman in the audience. “The Lord is showin' me your house.  There is a man creepin' up to your house in the dark.  He is tryin’ to break in,”  he explained sympathetically but assuredly.  The poor woman was petrified and pleading with the Lord to stop the intruder.  “He’s in your living room now.  He’s lookin’ at the tv.  He’s movin’ toward the tv.  People we need to have enough faith to stop this man.  We need to give in faith so that this woman doesn’t lose everythin’ she has.”  The gracious audience started running up and putting money in the basket.  “Oh he’s liftin’ the tv up now.  What are we goin’ to do about it?”  More people flooded the altar area with checks and cash.  “Oh he’s startin’ to think about it?  He’s startin’ to put the tv back.”  Everyone was sitting on the edge of their seat in anticipation.  It occurred to my sister at the moment that they could get the lady’s address and call the police, but surprisingly that isn’t what happened.  The altars were empty now that the intruder was putting the tv back.  “Oh, he’s a liftin’ it back up again.  Oh no, saints what are we goin’ to do?”  The altars flooded again.  After much back and forth with the indecisive intruder, the people in the audience were poorer than when they arrived, the man up front was rich, and the woman in the audience was guaranteed that when she got home, she would still have a tv.  

This was all unsettling to me and to my sister at the time, but it took us a while to explain why it wasn’t Biblical.  It felt wrong, but I could not explain why. That’s more than unfortunate, and it is what drives me to ensure that our students and all those I minister to know the importance of Biblical literacy.  The Bible is very clear about promising people “moo-shee-boo-shees” in the name of God.  It explains that it would be better for the speaker in that tent to be thrown in the sea with a 3,300 pound millstone wrapped around his neck for deceiving the children of God with a false gospel.   

I remember sitting in a classroom years ago listening to a precious man in his late 80s teach.  Someone in the audience asked him, “Do you have any regrets?”  He quickly replied in a trembling voice, “I regret that I didn’t read the Bible enough.  I wish that I had read more of the Bible and less books about the Bible.”  That statement has stuck with me for years.  I hope it sticks with you and me until death, because it is imperative that we understand what the Bible says about “moo-shee-boo-shees.”