I Will Love You, Even If...

I know I should have taken her back to the car, but I didn’t. I was walking into Starbucks with one of our amazing students, Dani, and suddenly realized that I had Avriel’s baby doll cradled in my left arm.  No biggie right?

Just a few notes about said baby doll.  She has seen much better days.  At this moment in her life, she was naked.  She has been colored to the point that she is permanently marked.  She is missing two feet and a hand because they were clearly chewed off by a dog.  Only one of her eyes opens like it should.  The other is half way closed.  

I know what you are thinking.  I have thought of replacing the doll, but I encounter a moral conundrum every time.  Other than the fact that she loves the doll, I think to myself, “What am I promoting by throwing this “not normal” doll away?” What if a human was marked all over their body with different colors? Are they not worth loving?  What if a human was missing two feet and a hand because they were clearly chewed off by a dog?  Are they not worth loving?  What if a human's eyes didn’t open all the way?  Are they not worth loving?  So I have never been able to throw the doll in the trash heap for another newer, cleaner, prettier, more normal doll.  Plus, Avriel looks past all of it and deeply loves her.  

I still should have taken her back to the car though.  Dani suggested I take her back to the car, and I refused politely.  She’s a bit smarter than me.

We approached the cash register - me cradling my special doll in my left arm - Dani beside me probably wondering if she was every going out in public with me again.  Before I could place my order, the cashier inquired, “Can I ask about the doll?” with a pretty weirded out look on his face.  

I proceeded to tell the lovely story I stated above with all the reasons why I couldn’t throw it away.  He ended our transaction with “You can throw it away.”

I took one step to the left and the barista inquired, “Can I ask about the doll?” with a more polite weirded out look on her face.  She really was struggling to keep it together when I explained the part about wanting my daughter to know I still loved her if a dog chewed off one of her hands and two of her feet.  I kind of was struggling too as I heard myself talk.  It was a bit ludicrous sounding.

The moral of the story:

This super fun moment in my life is to prove to you that I embarrass myself on such a regular basis that it’s not classified as embarrassing anymore.  

Also, you can be assured that if a dog chews off one of your hands and two of your feet, I will not throw you on the trash heap.  I will instead carry you cradled in my arms into Starbucks to prove to the world that you deserve love too.

(P.S. The picture is taken from my camera from one of the many photo shoots that Avriel has for her baby.)