I was shocked that I was shocked...

I was shocked that I was shocked.  

How is it that I pray for something and solicit my friends’ and family’s prayers and yet if being truthful, I would have to admit that I am praying for what I believe to be impossible even for God or merely out of His realm of desire to involve Himself?

I will spare you the details that would probably baffle anyone that is not diabetic or well-versed in the roller coaster ride that is health insurance.  

There is an item that is very precious to my husband that if paid out of pocket would cost $640 a month.  It makes his life manageable with his unfriendly chronic disease.  Example: He lived without one for a week.  In one day he consumed almost an entire case of 24 gatorade bottles in order to keep from passing out.

We were forced to change insurance and this insurance would not cover this precious item.  We appealed said decision.  Upon searching the internet, the source of definitive information on all subjects, for others in this similar situation, Daran and I quickly realized that the appeal would very likely be denied.  

Yesterday morning and every day since this whole ludicrous roller coaster ride began, we prayed with our staff team for a positive answer. After our staff call, I called the insurance to find out the appeal decision. This was the day they promised that they would reach a decision.  I was already planning in my head what my next step would be after they told me no.  I knew she would tell me no.  

To my shock, She told me yes, the appeal had been approved and Daran would receive this weapon in his arsenal against the evil that is diabetes.  Because I have so little faith, I had her repeat herself so that I could make sure that she did not misspeak.  She repeated herself.

Then, it hit me.  I had prayed and prayed.  I had other people pray and pray.  Lots of people.  Whenever people had asked me what my prayer need was, this is what I had presented, yet I had been shocked, dumbfounded at her yes answer.  It is as if she stated that the earth was flat. Why?

I hear my Savior say, "Oh, ye of little faith.”  Yesterday I realized how far I have to go in this “trusting God” journey.  I should be shocked that I was shocked.