I tried, but I failed, maybe...

In truth, the ideal is out of reach.  I tried but, I failed, maybe.  

Years ago, I jumped on the Marie Kondo bandwagon.  You know the "Get rid of anything that doesn't spark joy train."

Our 16th move was on the horizon, so I eagerly read the book and blessed (or cursed) our local donation center and the dump with 1/3 or so of our possessions.   One of the key things I did which was quite freeing, I might add, was get rid of paper.  Sounds absurd or impossible, but I discarded notes from college realizing that if the information did not reside in my brain, it would probably never be sought out for future sermons or theological debates.  I discarded the instruction books that came with all of our appliances, vacuum cleaner, and waffle iron.  From then on, I would seek them out on the internet or figure it out by trial and error.  I discarded 5 year old utility bills, realizing that I didn't really intend on referencing them in future.  Finally, I consulted the good ole world wide web to figure out how long I had to keep tax documents and discarded all those prior to that date. 

Ok, I did accidentally discard all the kids social security cards, however, in my defense, I did not have to really turn the house upside down when I was looking for them.  I only had a 4 inch wide container of papers.  It only took a minute to realize they were gone.  It did take a bit longer to replace them, though.

As you can see by the picture.  My paper purge has not lasted (or maybe it has.)  Other than birth certificates and such kept in my 4 inch wide container, these are my papers.  Much better than the past, ok astronomically better than the past, but not bad - just messy.  I'm tackling that abhorrent pile today.  Discarding, shredding, and scanning away!

This pile however, made me think that the ideal is not just out of reach for me - it is for you too.

Bear with me here,  the other day, I read what Paul said about Abraham - that he never wavered in his faith.  Um...so for those of you that have read the Bible you know that is an exaggeration of sorts (according to my definition of wavering, that is).  

Example of Wavering Incident: Abraham went along with Sarah's plan to solve his childless problem by sleeping with a servant.  

Example of Wavering Incident: Abraham had a giggling fit, with God as the recipient, when faced with the promise of children at his age.

None of it adds up, but it made me ponder.  Maybe the ideal is out of reach, but maybe what God wants from us is not perfection, but rather the ability to get off the ground after the giggling fit and say, "But with God..." or maybe after we have attempted to do God's job for Him, to turn around, and say, "I'm sorry..."

So as I discard, shred, and scan documents today, I will think about all the times that I have fallen, tripped, or paused in my pursuit of God and know that His desire is for me to let Him dust me off and continue to trudge on in this faith journey.  Then maybe I can be described, as Abraham was, as someone who never wavered.