I have a confession to make...
I have a confession to make. I didn't get out of bed until 12:30 today. I woke up at 8am and turned off my alarm, and then woke up at 11 something and stayed snuggled in the covers until 12:30.
Immediately upon rising, my mind raced with the excuses for my super embarrassing slothfulness.
I couldn't fall asleep last night (because I have a disorder in which I cannot sleep in a hotel room by myself without Daran. Last time I looked at the clock it was almost 2am)
I traveled all day yesterday (5 hour drive from Dillon, Montana to SLC International airport, 1 1/2 hour plane trip to Denver, and 1 1/2 hour drive to Colorado Springs)
I didn't sleep as enough this week.
I've been running without a day off since last Monday.
The bed was really comfy.
The pillow was really soft.
And then I heard the voice of the LORD, "Why can't you just say thank you? It is my gift to you."
I am in a never-ending battle with myself because I see the mass-producing humans around me, and I can't and often don't want to keep up with them.
I feel guilty for observing the Sabbath. I feel guilty for not observing the Sabbath. I feel guilty.
Why would one make excuses to oneself for keeping the Sabbath. Because they forget that it is holy. Because they forget that it is commanded. Because they forget that it if vital.
So what did I do upon awakening. Nothing. I rested. I practiced Korean. I did the Wordle. I read the Bible. I read a novel. I read "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality." I was silent. I listened, and I said "Thank you."
In the time since rising, I have "accomplished" those things propped up in bed, walking across the street to Starbucks, sitting in a little cozy chair in the corner of said coffee shop, drinking an Americano and eating a breakfast sandwich way after breakfast time, walking back from said coffee shop, and now sitting in a cozy chair by the window in my room.
I have effectively yelled to the universe and myself, "I am not God," and have delighted in that very fact.