When asked "Is there any cancer in your family?"...

I’m sure I am not the first and will not be the last that will hear words that automatically trigger a long look over the shoulder into the past and an even longer look at the present.

Yesterday, I sat on the crinkly paper in the examining room explaining my symptoms.  Rapid weight loss, constant chest discomfort, fatigue.  Upon the first question, I knew it was not a “run-of-the-mill” illness I was dealing with.  

“Is there any cancer in your family?” 

My reply: “My dad had colon cancer.  My aunt died of cancer.” 

“Are there any autoimmune diseases in your family?”

“I’m pretty sure we have most of them,” I answer.

She proceeded to list off the tests that I was about to endure:  EKG, Chest x-ray, thyroid panel, autoimmune panel, white blood cell, red blood cell, and the fun one - I will get to collect my own stool sample!

I had this thought after leaving the doctor’s office.  These moments are blessings.  Are they not?  The long look backward and the even longer look sideways should be caught in still shots that are carefully framed around our home.  

My senses are heightened as I await the test results on Monday (the day Daran leaves for Kenya).  When I awoke this morning, I noticed Daran’s hands and realized how much I love his hands.  They have been so gentle, comforting, and loving in every encounter with me.  Holding my hand.  Guiding me by the small of my back.  Embracing me tightly.  Why didn’t I notice his hands before?

I’m not stressed.  I’m not really worried.  The results could reveal nothing or something, but the tap on the shoulder to remind me of my blessings is worth it.