How long have you lived this way...
With shock evident all over his face and in his voice, he asked me, “How long have you lived this way?”
I pondered for a moment trying to think as far back as I could. I answered, “My whole life…for as long as I can remember.”
Included in my job description as helper for my mom back in September is repairer of broken things. Amongst the broken things was the dryer. Not fully broken, but needing to be restarted every couple minutes.
Simple fix, right. With the handy dandy internet and the click of a couple buttons one of the highest rated, least expensive dryers was to be delivered in a few days. Problem solved.
I wasn’t there for the delivery, but the worst was over when I arrived. Upon pulling into the driveway, the delivery guys explained to Mommy that they would have to leave the dryer in the yard because they couldn’t get it through the jigsaw puzzle that is her porch/laundry room. Maybe because in order to do so, they would have to move a shelf and very large refrigerator in a Tetris like method just to make a space wide enough to squeeze and wiggle the dryer through the doorway.
Mommy explained, “My husband get other dryer in before.” (Which means, “My husband was able to get the other dryer in there before.”)
“Well, your husband can get this one in there too,” they replied.
“My husband in hospital,” she explained.
Upon realizing the helplessness of this little Korean woman, they delay other deliveries, and through sweat and a whole lot of strategy, got the dryer in the laundry room.
After this victory, I receive a call from Mommy, “They get in, but no plug in.” I pondered for a minute why they wouldn’t simply plug it in and told her that I would do so when I got home.
Upon arriving in the laundry room, I realized as I lay belly down on the dryer (I told you it’s a puzzle in there) to scour the area behind it for an outlet, that there was none. I know, that’s dumb, but I looked all along the wall and found no outlet. Being the amateur dryer plugger inner that I am, I quickly realized that was not possible in that we have had a functioning dryer for as long as I can remember, so I looked again and again. (My sister informed me that we had a clothesline for a while, but I digress.)
Then I saw a yellow wire hanging from the ceiling attached to a metal-box-like contraption. “Not possible,” I thought. I picked up the metal contraption and noticed that the yellow wire was partly exposed where it connected to the box. “Not possible,” I thought. Then I examined the box. It looked vaguely like it could hold a dryer plug, but it was only a half an inch deep so the dryer plug wouldn’t be able to actually be plugged into it without half of the prongs being exposed. I readjusted my hold, (I know all of you electricians out there have beads of sweat on your forehead right now. As you should.) Electricity surged through my body causing me to drop the evil contraption.
I didn’t die, as you well know, but I realized that indeed this box thing was the outlet for the dryer, so I carefully plugged the dryer into it and gingerly set the contraption back on the plywood countertop. (I know plywood is flammable. I know.)
I climbed off of the dryer and pressed the power button expecting nothing. Voila! It turned on.
I walked into the kitchen and stated, “I need to call an electrician before the house burns down.” And so I did, and he came, and he saw, and with shock evident all over his face and in his voice, he asked me, “How long have you lived this way?”
I pondered for a moment trying to think as far back as I could. I answered, “My whole life…for as long as I can remember.”
Needless to say the evil contraption has been detached (leaving the inadequate gauge wire dangling from it) and taken for laughs and giggles and hopefully education back to “Electrician school”, or whatever you call it, for “show and tell.”
Long story, but I literally think of that contraption almost every day. Why, because I identify with it, an inanimate object. Serving its purpose but on the verge of igniting and burning the house down. Exposed wires. Fragile. Severely inadequate and potentially dangerous.
As I navigate the second hardest time in my life, this is how I feel.
And as I speak those words, this is what He says,
“Did you forget about me?”
Yes. I have. I have forgotten my power source. I have forgotten that we win. I have forgotten that my adequacy is not dependent on me. I have forgotten that my wires are exposed, but I am encased in His indestructible hand. I have forgotten that I am fragile, but He is not. I have forgotten that I am severely inadequate, but he is more than adequate.
So he has reminded me, and I now envision a dryer plug confidently plugged into a more than adequate outlet.